It seems I have set myself adrift in penning this blog with regularity simply because of the lack of time I have had to sit down and write. But here goes as I sit on a flight down to Rio. (No actually Florida but the movie with Ginger and Fred was truly fun to watch) What makes me the person I am is the distinct lack of being able to let go of the idea that someone doesn’t like me. Now we all have had plenty of relationships that end up on the cutting room floor for reasons beyond and in our control. And what makes it particularly difficult for this alcoholic is the fact that when there is nothing I can do about a particular situation right here and right now I have an arduous time letting it go. Somehow my brain thinks that by holding onto it I give it priority and I am in a better position for resolution down the road. Often times these events are never what the mind conceives them to be and I seem to cling to the idea that until it is resolved I cannot engage in any pleasurable endeavors until such time that I can shut the doors on it.
What seems to help me is the Serenity Prayer because in the shortened version we use in AA meetings (penned by Niebuhr) I feel like it’s a mantra and by uttering the words it can give me peace amidst the chaos I create between my ears. And if I can just verbalize what is the worst that can happen I can start to get past it. Nietzsche said that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and these words put to music recently by Kelly Clarkson are a great lesson in remaining calm when things aren’t going according to plan. Just yesterday I was faced with a less than desirable phone call and yet encased in that same day was the best birthday of my life. I always thought that when something goes wrong everything goes wrong. It just isn’t so.
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Nothing is ever as bad as we think it will be. On the other hand that goes for the good as well. most things are neutral. Coast and Pray.
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