Fortitude

It is by Merriam’s definition the strength of mind that enables a person to meet danger and bear pain with courage. 

Well we certainly met danger but not necessarily with courage in fact courage had little to do with it. It usually came in the form of stupidity and even worse arrogance that the laws or nature just did not apply to us. If we were half in the bag there was little we cared about others and besides the next drink there was not much concern as to what happened to us either. Until of course it was time for us to wake from the black cloud of the night before. 

Before we could enter the zone of fortitude however we had to go through the feeling of being paralyzed with fear. It was through fear that we would later be able to summon up the courage to face danger and bear unmistakable pain with courage. There is no time line that sobriety sets for this strength of character only the willingness to be in the right frame of mind for it to take hold.  

Fortitude also lies in the strength of mind that we have made the decision to stop drinking.  Some are sicker than others and this strength is not simply doing pushups in the parking lot, it takes fear that our previous life could come and take us away again to incarceration, insanity or even death. Sobriety can be a pink cloud but it’s more about us occupying time facing life on life’s terms something we never gave an askance look to.