The Spirit and the Damage Done

 I used to think everything was about me and in my interpersonal relationships if something bad happened it was my fault.  How selfish that I could think that I was so important I could have that much impact on someone else’s life and that this mere mortal could influence how they felt or how they perceived themselves. I figured it was perfectly acceptable because since it was a negative I didn’t think it was selfish, now I know better. We were so filled with self-importance that the world revolved around us and when we got sober our egos landed and sometimes it was a rough touch down.    When someone or some thing didn’t respond the way I wanted or expected, it was because of my behavior. It didn’t occur to me that it was about what was going on in their lives. I totally discounted the fact that oft times I had nothing to do with it.  

The ego and alcohol make strange bedfellows and often one kicks the other whether sleeping or wide-awake.  I know that the toxin alcohol makes egocentricity even more difficult to manage and we can get easily twisted when things don’t follow the imaginary script in our heads.