Forgiveness

As I have chronicled forgiveness does not mean that we forget, nor does it necessarily include reconciliation or does it have to contain justice.  What forgiveness is not is just as important as what it is. Too many times we focus on the hurt, which prevents us from ever considering forgiveness as an alternative to ameliorate the pain the hurt may have caused.  We often choose to ruminate about our distress, which only serves to drive the pain deeper, and it’s continued power over us. 

When we do decide to forgive someone, we do ourselves more good than the offender ever receives in return. We don’t forgive someone to get them to acknowledge the pain and distress they have caused us.  In many instances they may have never even considered our feelings being self absorbed in their own. Forgiveness also gives us the ability to see their side of the coin because in our hurt we get blinded by our own feelings and fail to consider what may have motivated the other to perpetrate the offense against us. 

 Forgiveness can reduce the negative thoughts that rage on in our heads and cause us physical discomfort like headaches, sadness and even high blood pressure. When we forgive we become more connected to the universe at large and release ourselves from our imprisonment that leaves us isolated in the past and unable to see the good that can come from the experience of having the pain in the first place.  

Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves and although we never need to forget we now use it as a tool for our well being rather than a stake that we drive through our own heart.   There is so much more about this I have to revisit it again and again.